crafting my own 30 before 30 list

I'm going to be honest. Turning 30 in a year and a half both terrifies and excites me.

There's a huge stigma in our society about growing older. It's like we celebrate the idea of turning 21, and then once you reach that goal, it's human nature to begin hating your birthday every year following that pivotal age of finally earning your right of passage to drink alcohol outside of your parent's house.

I however would like to change that. My birthday is usually what I consider my own personal holiday (I typically take it off from work, sleep in, drink something bubbly, and treat myself to something I enjoy, whether it be lunch, a new outfit, or getting my nails done). While I enjoy this kind of attitude about my birthday, as I get closer to that apex of ages, 30, I really want to change how I approach that birthday. I want to begin a list of all kinds of various goals I would love to actually accomplish by 30.

I have a confession to make though: I have this horrible habit where I start a project and unless I finish it in one sitting, I almost never finish it. Oops. So part of me is a bit hesitant because I actually want to finish this list and I don't want to go to sleep on my birthday still not finishing what I set out to do. So to be perfectly honest, I crafted this bad boy to make sure I would want to finish it. And I admit, some of these goals I know I'm going to accomplish, like that wedding I've been planning for two years. But these goals are still important ones I want to accomplish by 30.

Much like Alaina, one of my favorite bloggers from alainaisbouts, states on her blog from when she did her 30 before 30, it's more about greeting this birthday with joy, not dread, and making it a happy occasion to look forward to. Also, she had some really great goals, and I might have borrowed a few for myself (hope that's ok!)

So here it is, without any further ado:

props to Canva for the graphic help

Let's break it down now:

1. Go somewhere new with Ashley: We have been craving a trip together for a while now. Grad school wears on us both, even though she is the student, and we have been tossing around some short trip ideas for possibly later in the year or the beginning of next year. Vegas? West Coast? DC? At this point, anywhere will do.

2. Make new friends in Raleigh: Y'all, making friends as an adult is hard as shit. When you no longer work in a restaurant, no longer are in school with peers, and work remotely, there's only so many people you come across that are friend material. Raleigh hasn't really felt like home since we moved here, and I blame having no real friends to hang out with, so this needs to change.

3. Take myself on a spa date: I am almost 30 and I have never experienced what a massage or a facial feel like, and I'd love to pamper myself a little. Honestly too, it'd be great for someone to get those knots out of my shoulders and the blackheads out of my face.

4. Become financially literate: I have no clue what IRA, stocks, bonds, or investing really means, and as a feminist lady, I think it's about time I learn what all these mean, how they pertain to me, and how to have a better handle on my financial future. I'd really like to feel like I know what's going on with my money.

5. Unplug for an entire weekend: I am a Millennial and damnit, I love the Internet. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Google everything... I am constantly connected to it all. For 72 hours at least, I would like to not have to even look at my phone, let alone post or check anything at all.

6. Have an entire day with just Mom and just Sarah: Living 2 states away from my favorite people sometimes really, really sucks. Both my mom and my older sister, Sarah, are phenomenal women and just the best to spend time with, so I'd love to have a day with each of them to reconnect, hang out, and just in general get some time together.

7. Cook 5 meals from Mastering the Art of French Cooking: I blame Julie & Julia for this one. One of my favorite books and movies, it's given me inspiration to branch out and try something different. I could do Italian or Mexican food allllllllllllllll day long, but I've never really tried French food. Julia Childs is the expert, so let's give it a shot, eh?

8. Experience something marvelous: Amazing life event, glorious sunrise, breathtaking sunset, feeling infinite in a place I've never felt that way in before... something to just marvel.

9. Visit a local winery and buy a bottle of my favorite wine: Being in North Carolina, there's actually quite a few wineries nearby that I've been interested to branch out and try. I love wine, ask my best friends/fellow wino's, and to go to the source and find a new favorite sounds like an excellent way to spend a day.

10. Stop biting my nails: I've literally been biting my nails since I can remember. Let's just cut that out already, shall we?

11. Write 30 thank you cards: I love to give and receive snail mail. Packages, letters, postcards, you name it, I love it. So I want to send out some to any and everyone I can.

12. Build something with my hands: Puzzles are, like, my thing. And I love being crafty, so let's combine the best of both worlds, and make something amazing. I'd love to learn how to use real power tools, cut wood, and make something I'm proud of. Maybe get ambitious and make a bed frame for our bed and not buy one from the dozens of places I've searched?

13. Read 20 novels I've never read: I was an English major in college, and I've enjoyed reading longer than I remember being able to talk. When I am interested in what I'm reading, I just fly through it all. Right now, I've got Scrappy Little Nobody and Big Magic I'm starting from the library. Any book recommendations would be much appreciated (I love fiction, not corny love stories, fantasy/sci-fi, epic literature, gothic classics...hit me!)

14. Devote time to creativity: Working a full-time job can be energy draining when you come home and just want to decompress with a drink and yet another show on HGTV about renovations. I'd love to redirect that attention to doing more creative things again, like writing and creating.

15. Attend a class I like, be it yoga, cycle, dance, etc: You know, I've been telling myself for years that I was going to take a yoga class or do something active and fun. I still haven't. Time to change it up!

16. Protest / Rally / March: There's so much bullshit happening right now under this regime president that affects me that I have to find a way to express my frustration and anger. I'm a Millenial lesbian cisgender woman who depends on Obamacare for health insurance with a 5 figure student loan debt. I'm literally hit on all sides, minus the fact that I'm not an immigrant or a Muslim. I would like to get more involved and help out anywhere, whether it be for my LGBTQ community, my Muslim friends, my fellow Millennials, my immigrant neighbors, my vagina-owning sisters, Mother Earth, or all of the above and more.

17. Be a published author: I have always wanted to have my work published in a publication of value, be it a poem or a story or an opinion piece. Stay tuned on this one...

18. Get married to the love of my life: I know, I know, easy goal to put on the list since October 22, 2017, THIS WILL HAPPEN. (Thanks, Obama.)

19. Add another stamp to my passport: Whether it be on our honeymoon or beyond, I am itching like a fiend to whip that baby out, hop on an airplane, and experience a new land of culture, art, and overall fantasticness.

20. Create a living will: So this one is a bit morbid, but you never know what could happen, on any given day, at any given time, any given place. I'd like to make sure things are taken care of the way I want them to be, god forbid, if something were to happen.

21. Love my body for exactly what it looks like: Look, I was almost never negative about my body much growing up. Somewhere between adolescence, my college years, and now, I've become a bit of a bully to my body, and I need to quit. Time to start loving what I see and how I feel and look, and not rag on myself all the time for it.

22. Drastically downsize my closet: Hi, my name is Nikki and I like to hoard clothes for 'someday'. Enough is enough. Time to get rid of the pieces I never wear and never will, only keep the key pieces, and invest in the quality pieces I will wear over and over again for decades.

23. Pay it forward to someone who can't return it: I've always wanted to pay for someone's Starbucks order or cover their check at a restaurant, or do something to help out someone else. No longer am I going to just think it's a nice idea, I'm doing it sometime before 30.

24. Get another tattoo: I've been telling myself for years I would be getting another tattoo, and here I am, still with just the two I obtained between 18 and 21. Granted, I love them, but I'd love to have some kind of fantastic art on my body. Like they like to say, if my body is a temple, I should be able to decorate the walls.

25. Have only my student loan debt to pay off: Only recently have I obtained credit card debt, but I've been on top of paying the minimum payments on the two I have. Time for some next level shit and really make my student loans the only debt left to pay.

26. Become more involved with my physical health: I've been slacking hardcore on being more active. I blame not having a job between January and April, when I quite literally played Candy Crush on my ass, drinking coffee in my yoga pants on the couch watching yet another Netflix marathon of Law & Order: SVU. If I'm pissed at how I look, I can change that and be a healthier person. Not looking to become a gym rat or that girl that drinks smoothies for 2 out of my 3 meals, but maybe the woman that chooses water over a 3rd glass of wine, or maybe some damn exercise over hitting 'Continue Watching' when Netflix asks if I'm still there.

27. Visit every single brewery in Raleigh: I warned you, I'm a craft beer aficionado, and North Carolina is known for its' craft beer scene. I've visited a few so far, but I want to see all the ones I can near me here in the Triangle. This is another reason I'm stepping up my gym game, to counterbalance the beer intake.

28. Go away for a weekend spontaneously: I have always wanted to do this and I have never had the time/funds/means/partner to do so with. That's about to change. Watch out, Ashley!

29. Do a 30 day challenge: Blog everyday. Yoga. Bullet journaling. Give up alcohol. Try meditating more than once a week. I will do something for 30 days, and I expect some results, damnit.

30. Visit Caitlin Austin: Ever since my childhood best friend of 18 years and counting moved to Austin, Texas with her husband, the Caitlin void in my life is real. So at some point in time before 30, I'm jetting off to Austin for a girl's weekend of tacos, margaritas, Magnolia Market, and weirdness. Come on, Southwest, throw me a good deal!

So there it is. My masterpiece bucket list for beginning my 30's off in a fun, fabulous, and thrilling way.

God, when did I become an adult?

an interesting twist in the career path

You know, it's funny how things can change at the drop of a hat.

I had recently accepted a position with a company I considered a dream company of mine. One that is a well-known and prominent fixture in the publishing world. The position itself was not quite where I wanted to be, but it would have been a foot in the door to possibly where I would want to get to. I wasn't quite sure if it would have been the best role for me, but I wanted to give it a chance, with the understanding that there would have been growth within the company.

When I first began my job search, I immediately jumped at the chance to apply for the position with my former company that stood out and made me excited and hopeful. At the time, it was a position that had not been created yet, and I wasn't sure if it would be. For months, there was no news and while budgets were still being decided upon, as it goes when companies create positions.

Once I knew things were not progressing the way I needed them to for my own personal life, I amped up my job search, my follow-up became persistent to a fault, and my phone was consistently in my hand, applying to every job I could and reaching out to as many contacts as possible. This is where my contact with the 'dream company' came into play. After months of connecting, we finally got to a point to where I was offered a role.

Literally a few days later, my former recruiter with my former company phoned, with the unbelievable offer I had been waiting for. Doing the pros and cons, I came to the difficult decision that my best choice, professionally and personally, was to accept the offer that came from my former company. It offers great work-life balance, the pay makes my life much easier and much more stable, and the job itself does offer a more independent and social aspect that I feel I will really enjoy and do well at.

Throughout my career search, I have come to the realization of the intersection of my interests and goals quite often. Part of me still dreams that one day I will be some phenomenal editor of a publishing house or magazine empire, crafting publications that impact and offers pieces that provoke conversation. And a big part of me is coming to the realization how much I love helping people, communicating with them and making them feel that they can depend on me. I ADORE that feeling. It was one of the most enjoyable parts of my last position, and I loved every time I would be reaffirmed that my work ethic was coming through.

I graduated college barely less than a year ago. I know I am still in the infancy of my career choices, and I have plenty of time to figure it all out. But right now, I'm so excited to tackle this next hurdle. It's quite a curious thing when you go to school for one thing, and once you're out in the professional world, those goals can shift. And that's perfectly ok. You never know what amazing opportunities might happen when you start looking beyond the comfort and limits of your degree. Taking that job that might not necessarily be in the field you went to school for could end up being just as much of a dream, if not, better than what you originally thought it would be.

I hope I'm not the only one who thinks this way! Let me know if anyone out there has had a situation like this!

filling in the blanks / 002

Since my time being unemployed with a wide-open schedule is coming to an end, I figured why not have some fun and do a post of some good ole fashioned fill in the blanks.

1. Something near and dear to my heart is the desire to do something good, whether it be for a person, an animal, or an organization.

2. A promotion, a beautiful day, or even just because is good cause to celebrate.

3.  The most fun I ever had was studying abroad in London for a summer semester, experiencing the places I've always wanted to go and seeing all the art I could have dreamed of seeing in person.

4. True friends are the kind of people who, no matter what's going on, you can call up even if it's been a while and they'll be there for you as if it's been a minute since the last time you spoke, the kind that let you be your messy self and yet still think you're amazing, and definitely the kind of people who you can pour a glass of wine for and share a laugh with always.

5. Something that makes me terribly happy is when I get to spend time traveling and adventuring with Ashley, bonus points if it's a beautiful day and I get to be creative at some point.

6. A good way to spend a sunny day is having a beer with friends outside on a patio somewhere, be it a restaurant with a rooftop deck or a brewery with dogs and cornhole. I advocate for sunny days to be celebration days.

7. My favorite celebratory food is pasta and wine, particularly anything with bubbles. I've been on a rosé kick lately, and I have to say it is a delightful and splendid way to celebrate anything!

8. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is look at my phone. It's awful, I know, but if Ashley isn't awake yet or she's already left for class, I like to catch up on the news and my notifications. When I have work in the morning, however, I usually hit snooze once or twice before hopping up and quickly getting ready for the day.

9. I can hardly wait for my sister's baby shower next month and my wedding in October! It keeps getting closer and closer and while we have a lot of things accomplished, we still have a lot to polish off in terms of contracts. Hopefully within the next month or so, we will have everything signed, sealed, and ready. My sister, on the other hand, is due at the end of May, and I've been a busy bee over here trying to finish making her decorations and presents.

10. The quickest way to my heart is by making me laugh because I feel laughter is absolutely the best medicine. Of course, sharing similar world views is also important, but having someone who can brighten the room with a laugh, good mood or not, is key.

11. A little known fact about me is the fact that I've broken my left thumb before. The day of 2nd grade orientation I stuck my thumb in our faulty dryer (it would still spin if the door was open), looking for a towel for our above-ground pool (we were really cool in the 90's, guys) and my grandmother's Japanese quilt caught my thumb, wrapped around it, and I completely destroyed my nailbed and broke it in three places. I had to have reconstructive surgery on it, including having a pin put in it, I wore a cast for 6 weeks from knuckles to biceps, and then had to undergo PT to regain mobility in my thumb. All because I wanted to grab a towel to go swimming.

12. Something I just couldn't live without is music. I've been to numerous music festivals, plenty of concerts, and I maintain a subscription to Spotify. It speaks to my soul in ways other things just don't do. It's the motivation that gets my creative juices flowing easily. And there is still nothing better than driving somewhere with the windows down and the music way up.

13. Something useful I wish I knew how to do is speak a second language fluently, or have the talent to successfully cook a grilled cheese sandwich without burning it. My timing is awful. As for the language, I took many years of Spanish, and I understand it enough to get me by somewhere, but I'm not fluent in the least.

14. If I had to classify my interior design aesthetic, it would be eclectic with hints of rustic and modern. My brother-in-law made our coffee table, it's stained reclaimed wood with black pipes for the legs, and I adore it so much, I want to design our entire household around it. But I also love IKEA, those clean lines and if it's grey in any way, done. Ultimately, if Joanna Gaines and Jillian Harris could design my house for me, I'd be sold.

15. If I had an extra $100 to spend on whatever I want, I would buy a bottle of rosé, an item or two off my closet wishlist to wear to work, and probably spend the rest at Target buying myself whatever sounds wonderful.

So there you go! I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday and enjoy your St. Patrick's Day weekend! I know I'll be having a cold Guinness tomorrow to celebrate :)

finally, good news

I have to admit, I wasn't sure this day would come entirely, but I had hope it would work out for me.

Throughout my college career, I often was reminded of just how exclusive and uniquely selective my field can be. Never have I been more aware of the phrase, "cannot get a job without experience, but cannot obtain experience without a job," than attempting to job search in the English field. The market is saturated with writers, bloggers, editors, copywriters, and more, and few are eager to take a chance on someone fresh out of college with the right degree but lacking in years of experience. It's been trying.

However, if I have learned anything from this job search here, it has absolutely been the value of connections. Early on in my search, I connected with someone in HR at the company I dreamed to work for. I maintained contact, I followed-up, I was persistent to the point of borderline annoyance. But this all showed my determination to become part of the company. It showed my persistence to show my passion and my skills.

Lo and behold, this position did in fact come through, much to my extreme happiness, and I am now happily employed! And within my field to boot! I cannot describe how wonderful this feeling is to finally feel I have purpose here. I am beyond excited to roll up my sleeves and get to work.

I plan to update some more when I can, so please be on the lookout for more to come!

a new year in a new place

And just like that, it is almost March. It's been an interesting past two months, for sure.

We spent the holidays with our families, soaking up all the time we could with each of them before embarking on the new adventure. We spent the last 5 days before we moved quite literally in a rush. We rushed to spend time with friends and family, we rushed to pack, and we rushed to get everything in order so we could have moving day go off without a hitch. We were lucky enough to have Ashley's mom and her mom's boyfriend to help us drive the truck up and move in every single thing we crammed into the back of that Uhaul. We spent that first night pretty exhausted and thankful for the cocktails Ashley's mom brought along with her.

Following that, Ashley started her classes pretty soon after the move, and I spent my free time unpacking, decorating, and applying to jobs. When you're in a brand new place, it's very easy to get distracted by the little things because you don't have your friends, your job, and your community nearby. It's been an adjustment. I always believed I was the kind of person who, when presented with the opportunity to up and go change my life, I'd embrace it and love every minute of it. I'm sure if I had a position to move to, consistent income to continue funding life with, and friends to hang out with, things would be easier. Much easier.

When I started this blog, my primary focus was to have an area where I could be intensely honest about my thoughts, my feelings, and my life. And I won't stop now. I have to say, moving has been really, really hard. I never realized just how different things would be here. The Raleigh area we live in is suburban, which we like. Does that make us old? Say what you will, but I love being close enough to the city to where we can enjoy it without a problem, but far enough away to where we have parks, less traffic, and it's a bit more quiet. While the area is great and there's lots to do, I miss home. I miss having friends around, I miss the familiar restaurants and places, and I miss being able to have the financial perks that comes with a job.

Speaking of jobs, I'm still working on getting one. Almost all of my potential connections have either unfortunately fallen through or things just haven't worked out the way I wished. I do still have a wonderful connection at a dream company of mine I'm still interviewing with, so I am hoping and praying for a wonderful outcome. It would absolutely help me break into my field and would be a position that I would just adore and excel at. At this point, I'm just ready for some good news. I've reworked my resume so many times the past two months and I've spent countless hours searching, applying, following up, and waiting. This job market is the worst. It is incredibly difficult to get into.

Otherwise, it's pretty quiet over here for us. Ashley's Spring Break starts this weekend, so hopefully we are going to try to get a visit home in, since I'm still unemployed and Ashley finally has a well-deserved break. Her program is really intense, so I'm really excited for her to finally have a little bit of time to sleep in and not have to study every free moment of the day.

While it sounds like things aren't sunshine and butterflies, I do have to say there are some positive things that have been happening. We have finally been able to put the deposit down for our wedding venue, so we can check that huge item off our list. Our wedding is in less than eight months, so it has been such a relief to finally be able to really plan it and pay for it. Also, my sister's baby shower is coming up soon in April, and it has been so much fun to have the time to make her baby shower presents and plan it with my mom. It's going to be great!

I plan on posting some more things soon, hopefully with some great news coming!